


they call me mister fahrenheit

by Verocity



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, MarkJin but not focal, angst angst angst, fear and self-loathing, mentions of alcohol and failed confectionaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26341117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verocity/pseuds/Verocity
Summary: Years after disbandment, Yugyeom is getting married.They're all invited. Jaebum wishes he isn't.
Relationships: Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28
Collections: K-Pop Ficmix 2020





	they call me mister fahrenheit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaekyu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaekyu/gifts).
  * Inspired by [we built this house on memories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300118) by [jaekyu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaekyu/pseuds/jaekyu). 



> It's funny because the the original (and hence this one) is chronologically set in 2020.
> 
> Unless my math is wrong. (It probably is.)

The invitation arrives on a Tuesday.

Or rather, on Tuesday Jaebum sees the corner of the envelope peeking out from under a pile of still untouched mail beside the monitor on his desk. He doesn't have an assistant. But the company has an intern in a room somewhere in charge of sorting the mail and delivering them to the right recipients, and they're pretty diligent with making sure only the relevant ones make it to his studio. The fan mail stays in the mailroom, neatly stacked for each of the label's many talents waiting to be picked up when the artists have the time.

Jaebum hasn't gone to the mailroom in weeks. Not because he doesn't have the time.

It's the gold emboss that catches his attention, a posh touch that sets it apart from the plain whites and yellows of official correspondence. Whites and yellows that he hasn't paid attention to in weeks.

The material is deliberately not smooth. Not coarse, he thinks, but rustic. Textured. Unfamiliar to his fingers. He turns it over and sees his name in flowy characters, also embossed in gold.

There's a knock on his door. It beeps a second later, followed by the sound of it opening.

Donghyun peeks in. "You busy?"

"Just the usual." Jaebum gets on his feet politely as an afterthought. They're almost the same age. Even after working together for three years Jaebum still has to remind himself that Donghyun is his manager.

It earns him a nod. "Let's go out for lunch. You might want to take the rest of the day off."

The situation is this: Jaebum's in trouble. Until he was twenty-four he was part of a boy group whose popularity spanned the world and had no signs of slowing down. When he was twenty, two of his closest friends fell in love with each other before his own eyes. It didn't help that he was their leader then and he carried the weight of every single potential screw up. It didn't help that he was twenty and he was exhausted and he felt that he'd let so much of his life go to pursue a dream. It didn't help that he was already accountable for so many people before he even became an adult. That kind of thing stays with you.

And it absolutely didn't help that when he was eighteen he saw Seojoon shirtless when they were filming. That day, Jaebum learned something about himself. Something he hated. Something he knew no one else could ever discover. He and the people close to him relied too much on public acceptance to show anything remotely scandalous.

There was only one course of action. And he was strong, he reassured himself. He can keep this secret. There was no reason why this should affect anyone.

When he was twenty, he couldn't remember what it felt like not to be lonely anymore. When he was twenty-four he ran into a close friend on vacation in Japan and, in a moment of recklessness, gave him a kiss despite the voice in his head warning him loudly that no, he wasn't ready for anything like this, not yet.

They haven't seen each other since. For two years he tried to pretend to himself that it never happened. But hey, in a life that's already full of regrets, what's another one to add to the pile?

And now he's twenty-six.

Twenty-six and still nothing to show for it. Though now, at least, he's not responsible for anyone else.

"So where does this leave you?" Youngjae asks, pouring a shot of something brown. It stings Jaebum's nose from across the table. Youngjae, not a stranger to adversity after his years with B.A.P and TS, knows there are comforts that only turning your brain off can offer.

"Fuck if I know," Jaebum grits out. He reaches for the glass and downs the shot, welcomes the warmth that lines his throat until it turns into burning. "That shit is strong," he wheezes.

"It's a sipping whiskey," Youngjae says with an amused smirk at Jaebum's suffering. "Yongguk hyung gave it to me for new year's."

Not for the first time, Jaebum feels a pang of jealousy for Youngjae's social standing.

B.A.P's days in the limelight were... troubled, to say the least. And many things _had_ been said -- by fans, by lawyers, by the media, and even by the members behind closed doors. Youngjae claims that the expiration of his contract was the best thing that ever happened. Now, with a year of solo work under a different label and launching his own studio soon after, Youngjae actually seems fulfilled with his career and Jaebum feels absolutely no guilt in storming his best friend's home and raiding his liquor stash.

"My contract…" Jaebum continues when he gets his voice back. "They might not renew my contract."

Neither of them comment on the irony of the situation.

But it's poetic, in a way. One drunken night when they were twenty-five Youngjae admitted that he drew half his courage to leave TS from Jaebum's precedent. That there was life beyond B.A.P. That he could find a better place in the world if only he was brave enough to look for it.

"Don't be dramatic, your group was in such a shitty place," Jaebum pointed out back then. "It didn't take _courage_ to leave your shitty agency behind. All it took was common sense."

"You misunderstand me," Youngjae said in return, waving a shot glass in Jaebum's face and spilling half his soju. "If you could leave GOT7 and JYPE when you were at such a good place, what excuse do I have to not leave when we were at rock bottom?"

Jaebum was too drunk to articulate why that stung right then, and much too happy to care.

He recalls a message left unread until 3am the morning after their manager made the announcement.

 _You didn't even have the guts to tell us yourself._ From another Youngjae. One he'd treated as his younger brother. Jaebum was expecting absolute silence, which he got from Jinyoung. Somehow Youngjae sending one last text was worse.

Guilt has so much power on the imagination. Even now he could _hear_ Youngjae say it so clearly, so viciously, despite not having talked to the kid in three years. Jaebum doesn't need to see how well everyone else in the group is doing to know he made a mistake.

It stings harsher when he's punishing himself.

Youngjae rouses in the middle of the night to stumble all the way to the bathroom. Jaebum, marginally less drunk, wakes to his loud retching into the toilet.

And in his drunken stupor he remembers the mysterious envelope he'd hastily tucked into his back pocket. Might as well solve that mystery now when he's too numb to register any more hits to his ego.

_Together with their families KIM YUGYEOM & BAEK YERIN_

_Invite IM JAEBUM_

_To join them as they exchange their marriage vows. Reception to follow._

There it is, written in elegant coffee-colored ink, so easy to read in the warm lighting of Youngjae's apartment. Even in his state Jaebum recalls Yugyeom's face in a flash. A face that Jinyoung once jokingly said makes him believe in the merits of punching.

Wonderful. A guy three years Jaebum's junior. A guy he watched grow through adolescence before his own eyes. Getting married. With the fucking _audacity_ to actually invite him. To flaunt his happiness in Jaebum's face.

Just goes to show, doesn't it? There really is no such thing as rock bottom.

"You should go," is what Youngjae says when Jaebum's about to head out the door. "I saw the invite when you passed out again. Whatever you're afraid of? I'm sure it's not that bad. Definitely better than kicking yourself in the ass for years."

On the cab ride home, Jaebum wonders if that's true.

Yugyeom's wedding isn't for a week. Even then, things will definitely be too busy for Jaebum to actually run into anyone he wants to avoid. It offers him some slight comfort.

He confirms his attendance online. He doesn't know who's organizing the whole thing - it would have imploded by now if Yugyeom had any hand in it, and while Yerin was infinitely more responsible than her fiance she was also definitely busier - but within minutes he receives an invitation to a small party at the couple's residence to be held that evening.

A private affair, the message reads, for the couple to mingle with guests since they might not have a chance to do so on their special day.

Jaebum wonders what he should say to Yugyeom. Wonders _how_ he's even going to approach Yugyeom. Wonders who else is going to be there. Wonders... wonders if Jinyoung's too busy to go. Wonders if Jackson is- if Youngjae-

-if Jinyoung's too busy to go.

Wonders how nicely he should dress. Just in case.

All moot points, it turns out, because within minutes of arriving Jaebum sees a flash of Jinyoung's face. Just a flash because it's followed by a blur. A blur of Jinyoung approaching him. Of Jinyoung asking if they could talk somewhere private. A blur of Jinyoung making his way through a crowd of guests and... the familiarity of following Jinyoung anywhere. Then a blur of Jinyoung's fist colliding heavily with Jaebum's jaw and the world turns white for a moment.

The next thing he knows is he's on the floor and Jinyoung's storming off, and there's-

Mark.

There's Mark crouched beside him, a hand firmly on Jaebum's shoulder but looking somewhere else. Probably chasing Jinyoung with his eyes.

Some habits just don't die.

"Mark," Jaebum says out loud, quiet and careful, convincing himself this is no hallucination. Mark fixes his eyes on him. "We should catch up."

Mark looks like he'd really rather not. "Okay," he says instead.

"What have you been doing?"

Catching up is a 24/7 internet cafe, two cups of tea and Jaebum asking Mark this question.

"I'm back in California," Mark replies, drumming his fingers against the table. He looks... fuller, Jaebum thinks. Taken care of. Like he's more at peace with his place in the world now.

"Back with your family," Jaebum nods, taking a sip of tea. "That's good."

Mark nods, quietly. Like he's always been ever since Jaebum first met him. Mark always has that quiet confidence about him. Jackson used to complain (and Jaebum agreed with the metaphor) that Mark was a brick wall. But where Jackson meant Mark was unresponsive, Jaebum meant Mark was consistent. Unassuming. Without pretense. "What about you?" Mark asks.

Jaebum sighs. "Honestly? Not much. The label I signed with out of JYPE is about to drop me. Wasn't bringing in the numbers, I guess." Why bother feigning dignity in front of Mark? The time's long gone when he had the right to showcase being successful. Not when everyone else in the group thrived after he left them without a word. Not when Jinyoung now shines so brightly while Jaebum's been nothing but forgotten. He smiles sadly. "Suppose I deserved it."

At least it's Mark. At least he's showing what a total failure he's been to the most humble guy he hurt.

"No, Jaebum-" Mark starts.

"You know," Jaebum interrupts, staring down at his hands cupped around his paper cup of tea, steam rising from it slowly, "all these years later and I'm not sure why I did it anymore."

It doesn't count as lying. Mark doesn't need to know.

But that catch up did some good, or maybe his week was just that fucked up.

"I'm sorry," Donghyun says, and means it.

Jaebum laughs. There's no mirth there. "I'm sorry, too."

It doesn't take him long to empty his studio of personal effects. He drops his things off at home then hightails it straight away to Youngjae's apartment, thankful that his best friend trusted him with the passcode. Youngjae and Daehyun find him that evening passed out on the bed reeking strongly of Youngjae's most expensive gin.

"You two have a lot in common," he hears Daehyun-hyung tease in a few seconds of lucidity.

"How dare you insult me like that in my own home," Youngjae shoots back. And after a bit more arguing, they untangle Jaebum's limbs from the covers and help him sleep more comfortably.

In the one coherent brain cell Jaebum has left he wonders why Daehyun-hyung thought so little of him.

Youngjae lets him crash there for the next few days.

"I know how that mess that passes for your mind operates," he says while Jaebum's nursing his head over hangover soup. "Stay here so I can make sure you don't percolate and burn yourself out."

Jaebum responds with a mumble. Youngjae looks unimpressed, but he's dealt with Jaebum's worst and this isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. Besides, this is the best Jaebum can do for the next few hours.

Still, Youngjae stays true to his word.

They don't do any drinking, more because Jaebum flinches at the sight of liquor than any effort on Youngjae's part. Youngjae parks Jaebum in front of his iPad so he can binge on cooking shows and dessert competitions. More importantly, Youngjae agrees to try the results of Jaebum's bouts of secondhand culinary inspiration without a single word of criticism.

Jaebum can't say that he feels alright, but he can definitely say he avoided feeling a lot worse.

Before he knows it, the week is over and Youngjae reminds him he has to go home to get his suit. None of his nice clothes would fit properly on Jaebum and the wedding is tomorrow.

Jaebum doesn't move from the couch. "I should just not go."

"Come on, man," Youngjae says with a sigh of exasperation that Jaebum thinks is unwarranted. "We talked about this."

"Jinyoung punched me in the face."

Jaebum has gotten used to constant, non-stop chatter. So when a few seconds of silence pass, Jaebum looks up from what's looking to be a failed millefeuille to see Youngjae looking sadder than he has all year.

"Shit, man," Youngjae consoles him, displaying astounding eloquence. "What did you say to him?"

"Why do you think he punched me because of something I said?"

Youngjae shrugs. "It's not that surprising. We've all had the urge."

"For the record, I didn't say anything." Jaebum grimaces. It's not a fond recollection. His jaw still throbs whenever he thinks about it. "I didn't even _get_ to say anything. He saw me first. Then he lured me to somewhere more secluded and… by the time I caught up to him, his fist was already on its way."

Youngjae heads to the fridge. After a minute of rummaging he joins Jaebum on the couch and offers him a bottle of comfort. "Guess he still has issues to work through. Not good, but… that puts you on even footing, at least."

"Does it? Does it really?" This time Youngjae's comfort comes in the form of strawberry milk. Jaebum accepts it gladly. "He lived through the papers and the media demonizing him for coming out last year. And now he's _still_ getting lead roles for dramas and movies. While I'm..." He sips his milk morosely. "I'm just... me. Oh. And Mark-hyung's here, too. In case you wanted to tell me I still have a shot. I don't. I never did."

Whatever Youngjae has to say to that, he silences with a quiet raise of his own banana milk.

Yugyeom's wedding is tomorrow, and the only motivation Jaebum can muster for going is to maybe see Jinyoung again. But from beyond arm's length this time.

The plan is to avoid everyone he doesn't strictly need to talk to.

Which makes his first five minutes a failure by running into Jackson in the alley behind the church.

"Didn't expect you to be this early," Jaebum says plainly. He may not have acted for years but he still knows how to sound detached.

"Didn't expect you to show up at all," Jackson shoots back. His gaze is cool. Unaffectionate but not unfriendly. "Not after Jinyoung gave you that welcome back present at the party."

Jaebum barks a laugh at that. "Guess we weren't as private as we thought. Maybe wanting an audience for something dramatic is a hard habit to break."

Jackson tilts his head. "I didn't see it. But I saw Jinyoung drag you off, then a few seconds later he stormed out. _Then_ I saw you and Mark sneak out of the party with you holding your jaw like you were afraid it would fall off. Wasn't hard to guess what happened."

"Nice solve, detective Wang." Jaebum leans against the wall just beside Jackson. Tentatively. Waiting for Jackson to show any kind of discomfort. But all Jackson had was a soft, thoughtful look in his eyes. Not unwelcoming, which is more than Jaebum thought he would get. "What are you doing back here? I thought you'd be having the time of your life reconnecting with old strangers in there."

"Being surrounded by people... that's not for me anymore." Jackson looks up at the sky. "I live in France now. Olympic trainer. It's a quiet life."

"Pays the bills."

"Never did need to worry about bills," Jackson says with an amused scoff. "Launched a couple of studios here and at home. Hired some managers to take care of them. Have some investments here and there that are paying back some nice dividends. Now I get to enjoy my first love: stabbing people with a pointy stick and getting applauded for it."

"Sounds like a fun life. I guess I figured you'd want to keep being in the spotlight as long as possible."

"You know, I thought that too. Guess I'm getting old. Peace and quiet are much more alluring. And privacy. I miss being private, man."

"I wanted to thank you." Jaebum feels like he's speaking from the bottom of a deep well. And up against the outline of sky is Jackson debating whether to pull him out. "For. Not telling anyone. About the two of us. In Fukuoka."

Jackson shrugs. "It was just a kiss, hyung. And it was obvious you wanted to keep it a secret. If the way you freaked out on me was anything to go by." Jaebum has no idea how Jackson does it. How he can smile so sincerely around people he barely even knows. People he hasn't seen in years. He reaches out, unsure in his movement, to rest a hand on Jaebum's shoulder. "I just hope you're in a better place these days, man. You were such a mess that night. I remember thinking, 'this isn't the guy I admire.'"

Jaebum barks a laugh. It sounds strange, somehow. Not... bitter. It sounds unfamiliar. "Can't say I'm any better, honestly." He raises his eyes and meets Jackson's gaze head on. "But you know what, Jackson? For the first time in a long while, I think I'm ready to start working toward it."

The ceremony is beautiful. Yerin looks beautiful, and every single one of her bridesmaids, the gold drapery that holds the rows of chairs together is beautiful. Even the subtle textures of Yerin's white gown glow gold in the church's warm yellow light. Yugyeom's trying not to cry every time he looks at his bride.

Jaebum is seated close to the back of the congregation where it doesn't matter which side people sit. He chooses the groom's anyway. He can see Mark and Jackson several aisles up front, and Jinyoung some aisles further still. Bambam, of course, is at the very front pew as the best man if there was a best man. The person closest to the groom outside of family. Close enough, even, to be considered family himself.

And that leaves... the man at the piano. Jaebum recognized him the moment he walked in.

Youngjae. Handsome in his maturity but awkward in his tux. It's easy enough to guess that Yugyeom would have asked him to sing at their wedding.

The ceremony is beautiful, but Jaebum doesn't notice it passing by. Not when all he has eyes for is Youngjae, and he could do is to breathe and not suffocate from nostalgia.

Jaebum almost sneaks away as soon as the ceremony ends. But as he's about to leave, he sees Yugyeom watching him from the steps to the altar while waiting for Yerin's family to get in place for a picture.

Jaebum pauses. And in the brief moment their eyes meet, Jaebum relents to stay for a while longer. Relents to show up at the reception afterward. He takes a seat at the very back of church, out of sight from almost everyone.

The organizer calls for a Got7 picture. Jackson charges up the steps, followed by Bambam trying to race him, then Youngjae trotting up cheerfully. Jinyoung joins them with a subdued smile, and Mark joins last, looking unsure of himself.

Jaebum fancies that for a while maybe Yugyeom was looking for him, and maybe Jackson, too. But the photographer takes the shot and the organizer hurries them off for Yerin's friends' turn at the camera and that, Jaebum thinks, is that.

The reception is at this pleasant garden mansion that looks straight out of a fairy tale. Yerin's choice, definitely. Yugyeom would not have been able to pick this place out of a brochure.

Jaebum lurks on a bench by a row of peonies and watches the wedding party roll in. Jinyoung, Youngjae, and Jackson arrive together. Youngjae laughs and hits Jackson's chest, Jackson looks indignant and instructs Youngjae to hit the other side next time, and Jinyoung flops over Jackson's back to distract him so Youngjae could hit the same side again.

Half an hour later, when everyone's inside the ballroom, a limousine with a floral bouquet at the grill drives up and out come Yugyeom and Yerin, hand in hand, followed by who Jaebum assumes is the organizer guiding them to one of the entrances at the side.

Jaebum walks up to them quietly when they're about to head in. "Hey, Yugyeom."

Yugyeom turns on his heel while holding the door open for his wife. There's a flash of recognition in his eyes. A flash of disbelief in there, too. He gestures for Yerin and the wedding organizer to go in without him. "I don't need to freshen up much, I'm as handsome as ever. I won't take long." Yerin smiles at Jaebum - tired, but polite and genuinely warm - which Jaebum returns.

"I thought I wouldn't see you here," says Yugyeom as he pulls Jaebum in for a hug. "I thought you left when we were taking pictures."

Jaebum laughs. "I thought I'd only hear that you were married from the news."

"Don't take it personally, hyung," Yugyeom shoots back with a grin as he lets Jaebum go. "I almost didn't invite anyone, not just you. Bambam convinced me otherwise. Said the group was the most important people in my life for a few years and they - you - should absolutely be here too. And I'm glad I did. I'm super happy you're here."

Jaebum fidgets on his feet. "I'm... glad I came, too. Just a bit. But enough."

"Don't sneak away, okay? Stay as long as you want. I want you to have fun tonight."

"Don't you know it's rude to impose something on your hyung?" Jaebum says with playful reprimand. "But since you look so handsome today, I guess I can indulge you."

All in all, Jaebum's plan to avoid everyone was a colossal failure that was thematic of his life as of late.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Youngjae says, standing curtly beside him.

Jaebum straightens up from his slouch. Maybe now's not the time to fully contemplate the dessert table. The wagon wheels are insultingly better than his own attempt in Youngjae's kitchen anyway, and he has a different Youngjae bothering him now.

"You know I like to defy expectations," Jaebum teases with an uncertain grin. Youngjae's expression remains impassive, and Jaebum falters. He sets his plate, still empty, back on the table. "Look. I just don't want to get punched again."

"I'm not Jinyoung hyung," Youngjae assures him.

And that's true. Whereas Jinyoung was a romantic who believed in exploring his emotions to their full extent, Youngjae was the eternal sunshine who did his best to add positive energy to everything. In his own way, Jaebum loved them both. And in his own way, Jaebum was terrified of hurting them the most. Not that it stopped him.

"I know," he says to Youngjae now. "That makes you more… unpredictable."

Youngjae nods to concede the point. Jaebum looks down at Youngjae's collar. Seeing Youngjae keeping himself carefully blank around him hurts worse than Jinyoung's fist. Because Youngjae doing his best to be opaque about how he feels tells Jaebum about the fury he's keeping reined in. It means he's not even worth the honesty. Even sunshine can burn you to a crisp.

Slowly, deliberately, Youngjae takes a truffle from the dessert tower and puts it on Jaebum's discarded plate. Then a macaron. Then a wagon wheel. He takes the plate between dainty fingers and offers it to Jaebum, who accepts it like it's the last meal he'd ever get. "It's nice to see you again, hyung. I'm glad you've been keeping well."

He turns on his heel and walks away, leaving Jaebum shaking and wishing Youngjae had just punched him instead.

Jaebum still dances. Not as heavily as he used to, but dancing as a solo artist is different from dancing as a group. And definitely different from the wilder, more carefree dancing of a wedding party.

He opts for enjoying the evening breeze in the balcony. Maybe the cold air will reset him. Or maybe he can find an emergency exit.

When he sees someone else leaning against the balustrade, Jaebum settles for standing beside a friend who must have had the same idea.

"You should talk to Jinyoung," Mark says to him as they watch people move about inside. Bambam dances with Yugyeom's mom, Jackson dances with Jimin. Jaebum wonders why Mark isn't dancing too until he remembers how Mark's knee ended his career.

"Later," Jaebum replies simply, taking a pull of the beer bottle clutched in his hand. He looks at Mark out of the corner of his eye. His life's a mess. But maybe he can at least convince Mark to get his in order. "You should talk to him too."

"I don't know what we would talk about," Mark admits carefully.

Jaebum snorts. "You know exactly what you would talk about, Mark."

Mark's expression turns guarded at that. Jaebum wonders if he pushed too far. Worries if he prodded hard enough to push Mark away.

Jaebum is not at all surprised that Bambam managed to keep some of the spotlight on himself. But where Jinyoung grew his career in acting, Bambam became more of a commercial model and lifestyle mogul backed by being a very shrewd businessman. To date, between his holdings in South Korea, China, and Thailand, he owns a restaurant, two makeup brands, a fashion studio, a dance studio, and is a stockholder in an internationally successful milk tea franchise.

He'd be such fuel for Jaebum's self-loathing if Jaebum wasn't so impressed.

"I was _hoping_ you'd be here!" Bambam greets him immediately.

Jaebum gestures at the empty seat beside him. The guests have all started socializing. He has the table to himself. "Haven't heard that in a while."

"Everyone else's loss, I'm sure." Bambam reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small envelope to offer to Jaebum. When Jaebum doesn't take it, Bambam just laughs and puts it in Jaebum's breast pocket himself. "Hang on to that, you might need it soon."

"You are way too cheerful to see someone you must have hated for years."

For a moment there Bambam looks like he'd go back to his old habit of climbing on Jaebum's lap, and Jaebum's reaction is so ingrained that he immediately crosses his arms and legs protectively. But no, Bambam just leans against the table and smiles at Jaebum like he was misguided.

"Never hated you, hyung," Bambam tells him. "Never blamed you for anything. I figured, life goes on, you know? You did what you thought was best for you and no one could really fault you for that. I know I didn't." He looks around them. And as positive as Bambam projects himself to be, Jaebum can still see the slight slump in his shoulders now. "Maybe some of the others took a more subdued view of things, though."

"I know you're talking about Jinyoung and Youngjae." Jaebum plays with the rim of his glass.

Bambam shoots him a blinding grin. "Heard about what happened with Jinyoung hyung, by the way. Took a lot of ambiguity out of the situation, didn't it?"

Jaebum smiles tersely. There's nothing more to be said.

"Anyway," Bambam picks up again. "When you're ready to actually shine again, give that number I gave you a call. They're a better fit for your talents and style. You're being wasted in that shit label you left us for."

Jaebum barks a laugh. "Well do I have news for you."

The night winds down. The newlyweds retire earlier than their guests citing a honeymoon flight they have to catch in the morning. Bambam reprises his thoroughly embarrassing best man speech by wishing them more energy in the bedroom. Jaebum wonders what he could say at Youngjae's wedding if he ever decides to settle down.

Jaebum's getting ready to leave when he feels a soft tug on his elbow. It's Jinyoung - looking sheepish as Jaebum's ever seen him. So distant from the charismatic actor Park Jinyoung that Jaebum has gotten used to from dramas and movies.

"Can we talk?" Jinyoung asks, head bowed slightly and peering up at Jaebum. "Please?"

Jaebum smiles flatly. "As long as it's not like the last time, sure."

Jinyoung snorts. He leads the way out of the reception hall. They walk together, unspeaking, with Jaebum feeling both familiar and strange at once. By the way Jinyoung is pursing his lips, Jaebum guesses he feels the same way. At least he's not watching Jinyoung's back this time, with Jinyoung speeding away.

They find a restroom a little out of the way from the main corridors. Too hidden for drunk guests with more pressing priorities.

"I'm sorry," says Jinyoung, sounding guilty. He tugs at the hairs at the back of his neck. A nervous habit.

"No, I-" Jaebum says now, sounding shaken even to himself. "I'm sorry. What I did - it wasn't fair."

"It just felt like-" Jinyoung shuts his eyes. In thought. In concentration. In feeling out his words. "You and I had been a team for so long, and it felt like you left and wanted me to pick up the pieces. And I couldn't, I didn't even try, so maybe I was mad at himself too. I just convinced myself I was only mad at you."

It isn't what Jaebum expects to hear. "Jinyoung. I didn't want to make you feel that, I wasn't thinking, I was just doing - but I didn't want that."

"I know, I know." Jinyoung sighs. "Bambam said some stuff to me tonight. It made me realize. I was mad at you, at myself, and it's not worth it anymore. It was never worth it. Things change, it happens all the time."

They do. Jaebum agrees in his head. Things change, things escalate, things fuck up all the time. And there are so many things Jaebum wants to say to Jinyoung he doesn't even know where to start. It's hard to pick up the pieces and try to reconnect with someone he used to talk to every night after three years of avoidance. Especially now that... they've gone their own ways.

Maybe they can rebuild their old connection, or maybe they can build something new... or maybe they can't. But Jaebum wants to try this time. Jaebum doesn't want to walk away again.

But Jaebum needs time. And he remembers... there's someone else in Jinyoung's old life who's here now and doesn't have as much time. "Mark," he says to Jinyoung. "You should talk to him too. He wants to talk to you."

"I don't know what we would talk about," Jinyoung murmurs, and Jaebum laughs.

"I think you do," Jaebum replies simply. He presses his hand against Jinyoung's cheek, and Jinyoung closes his eyes at the warmth. The tension eases away and in its place is a growing familiarity.

They'll have time. Jaebum withdraws his and offers Jinyoung his first genuine smile in so long. He turns on his heel and leads the way out of the restroom.

And bumps into Mark right outside the door.

Jaebum nods at him. Hopes Mark understood what he meant.

Whatever happens between the two of them, Jaebum hopes that the startled yelp he hears as he walks away doesn't set the theme of what's next for them.

"That was more fun than I thought it would be."

Jaebum looks up from his phone. He's one tap away from getting a ride home, but Youngjae's voice sounding friendlier than earlier tonight takes priority. "It was."

Youngjae glances at Jaebum's screen. "If you haven't booked your ride yet, my car's over there and it's pretty clean. I can get you home."

Jaebum stares at him. Youngjae's face is still blank, still carefully guarded. But his demeanor is different now. His back isn't stiff like he's trying to be taller, his hips aren't level like he's standing at attention. He's casual. Casual, but guarded. And offering to have a few minutes in an enclosed space together.

Jaebum nods. "If it's not a hassle."

"It's not," Youngjae says. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was... angry. I didn't think I was anymore, but I saw you and... it all came flooding back. I'm sorry for being rude."

"You weren't." Jaebum reaches up to stroke Youngjae's hair like old times, like an older brother taking care of his favorite. But Youngjae flinches away and Jaebum's reminded that's not them anymore, may never be again. "You were perfectly polite. That was the scary part."

Youngjae loosens up with a slight grin. "I finally learned to control my expressions. You always coached me about that. Said I can't let every single thought show on my face."

"I did, yeah. Figures that it would backfire on me." Jaebum takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, too."

Youngjae narrows his eyes. "What, for leaving?"

Jaebum shakes his head. "No. Well, yes, that too. But I'm sorry for not telling you personally. Not just you - the whole group. I know you deserved that at least."

Youngjae's right. What used to be such a transparent way to read his emotions is now so carefully filtered. To the point that Jaebum waits with bated breath until Youngjae nods slowly like he's accepting Jaebum's words. "Thank you for the apology. I know how hard it must have been." He leads the way to his car.

"Hey," Jaebum ventures. Maybe tonight's grace isn't over yet. "If you don't have anywhere else to be, how about some tea at my place? To catch up. And hang out."

"I'd rather not," Youngjae answers right away, and Jaebum's heart sinks. "Your cats are gonna kill me." Jaebum looks up and sees Youngjae trying to suppress a smirk. "But I have tea at my place and nothing you're allergic to."

Jaebum laughs perhaps his most genuine one yet. "Alright. I'd like that."


End file.
